actually, I'm a sock model
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
