So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
