A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
