those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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