She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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