Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
