thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
