Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
