A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
