As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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