I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
