Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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