I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you would pick up someone in the library
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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