she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
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No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
dude. I can hear the air.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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