idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
