Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
