Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he thought i was a dude.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
