I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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