no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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