I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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