I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
