i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize