So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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