i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
did i walk over a car last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
