The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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