Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
