I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
