when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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