Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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(201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs

Replies (13) Good night (1156) Bad night (582)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better

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(570): I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better http://tfl.nu/a0xl

Replies (15) Good night (3485) Bad night (485)
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(480): View more from Arizona

so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic

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(480): so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic http://tfl.nu/3cem

Replies (94) Good night (8783) Bad night (2045)
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(812): View more from Indiana

A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.

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(812): A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time. http://tfl.nu/hpfk

Replies (38) Good night (5124) Bad night (551)
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(734): View more from Michigan

she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story

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(734): she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story http://tfl.nu/o2hn

Replies (12) Good night (6236) Bad night (684)
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(937): View more from Ohio

We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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(937): We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture http://tfl.nu/edj0

Replies (25) Good night (648) Bad night (7558)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"

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(774): she's crying while babbling "all i do is win" http://tfl.nu/5fua

Replies (10) Good night (3693) Bad night (915)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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(636): Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent http://tfl.nu/1tsa

Replies (12) Good night (1943) Bad night (688)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

Um. I literally have no words.

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(419): You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service. (1-419): Um. I literally have no words. http://tfl.nu/ua9g

Replies (3) Good night (1916) Bad night (802)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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(587): Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is. http://tfl.nu/4v3e

Replies (3) Good night (1532) Bad night (644)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore

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(702): I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore http://tfl.nu/7m2v

Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (772)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars

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(608): The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars http://tfl.nu/t0d7

Replies (8) Good night (967) Bad night (557)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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(250): Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults. http://tfl.nu/wfm3

Replies (6) Good night (1388) Bad night (321)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.

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(612): I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck. http://tfl.nu/k122

Replies (5) Good night (659) Bad night (296)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.

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(708): Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight. http://tfl.nu/8q6s

Replies (4) Good night (1006) Bad night (489)

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