Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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