I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
