I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits