Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count