You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize