tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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