careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
handjob tips. give me some.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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