On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
