dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
