Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
