i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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