I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
