If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
