Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize