so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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