YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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