i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
