i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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