She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
