question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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