Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
