I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize