Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
