This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME