So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.