i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
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At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
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Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?