I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick