i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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