But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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