Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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