Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
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And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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