I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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