i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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