No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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