im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
